don't mess with me

i feel sorry for maurice- he's gotta wait for checks from his payee in order to live. i remember that he always used to get at least $60 in the mail and he would always spend them on stupid things for me like stuffed animals. he's lucky if he gets even $20 now.
my grandma is going to call some lady at gillette hospital for me about volunteering for some job. i don't know when she'll get around to actually calling, i think that i could call or get the application myself which i'm tempted to do. i don't want my stupid case manager or resource manager to help me. they'd probably say that the volunteer program at gillette costs too much or try to say that my insurance plan doesn't cover eligibility for the program or something stupid like that. i have too much free time on my hands, i always end up lifting little bar bells (i think that's what they are) weights whenever i'm bored (which is at least once a day). i'm building muscle in my arms, i'm going to be a muscle woman soon.

norton please be working

ok, well, i don't know if i should be using the internet on this computer. my grandma told me to wait to use it until the supervisor of my program came off of vacation to check to see if norton was installed on this computer. it looks to be installed, the supervisor comes back tommorow, so i couldn't even wait one more day.
a doctor took me off some medication and put me on some other medication which is a nasal spray but i haven't even had any yet because i don't know if i have it here to take, the medication is for some swollen gland or something in my nose that affects my ears and makes them itchy. i thought that when my ears were itchy that meant that they were waxy but i guess not. the doctor that i seen on wednesday said that i didn't have that much wax in my ears when he looked in my ears.
i want to look for a job or something else to do like go to a class because i'm bored too often. i've been getting told that i look tired a lot lately and i just tell them that i'm not tired, just bored. i don't know what else it could be, maybe if i occupy myself more, i wouldn't look so tired. i told the doctor that filled my baclofen pump last week that i wanted to find a job. he told me to go to gillette's website and to look in "human resources" but i don't know where to start or how to start.

i have to wait

well, i got my new pc, i just need internet access put onto my pc and the only one that will do it is the supervisor of the program that i live in and she's on vacation til nov. 10 or 15 or something like that. i need norton 360 installed on it, so another virus doesn't creep up on my computer like the last time and they claimed it was my fault because they claimed that they installed norton 360 on my pc and they didn't which was found later on when the hard drive was cleaned out. the only person that's closest to me that also knows how to install the norton 360 and my internet is the supervisor of the program that i live in, so i'm going to have to wait til she's off of vacation.
i'm at gillette lifetime waiting in the waiting room to get my baclofen pump filled. it says that my appointment is at 8:00 on my schedule and the front desk said it was at 12:00, i'm thinking that my care team knew the appointment was at noon and just put that the appointment was at 8, so they could save money on transportation because i think that transportation to medical appointments costs more around noon. i also need to remember to ask the doctor that i'm seeing today if he can get me a job because i think that i need a job to occupy me because i feel bored too often during the day.

when will i get my pc back?

my grandma didn't go to best buy to pick up my pc this morning because they're going to repair it tommorow and they claim that they found when they cleaned the hard drive that it didn't have the norton 360 installed on it, so it's supposedly our fault. my grandma did pay an extra $90 dollars to have that shit installed before i got the new pc though, i'm thinking those thieves installed a virus on my pc when she paid the extra money for it and it executed itself in a certain span of time and they had this all planned out. she's going to pick my pc up tommorow and she'll probably end up getting scammed/robbed tommorow and forced to pay the extra money that they're asking for "repairing" the pc this time around. that store is full of assholes if they want to get away with paying to fix a problem that they created in the first place, i don't see how someone can live with themself when they do something like that.
i also need to get someone to hook the pc up after i get it, i hope that i can get the site manager at my apartment to hook it up, i think that she hooked the virus-filled one up when i got it. so we'll see the next time that i blog on the pc at my house..

i need to get regular internet access again!

i finally logged back onto my blogger account, i couldn't blog because my pc at my place downloaded a virus. don't ask me how, i don't really download programs. i really only download music, that'd be the only way that i'd think that i could possibly download it. the comcast technician who came out to look at my internet and why it wasn't working said that i probably bought it with a virus on it. i told my grandma that he said that she could've probably bought it with a virus already on it because after i told her that it had a virus, she said that she just bought that pc from walmart two months ago. she took it back to walmart today after my mom and her picked me up from my apartment and she said that they were busy or something and i couldn't get it fixed today. i don't know where the pc is but i'm hoping that i can get regular internet access again soon. i'm pretty sure that my grandma raised hell about buying a pc with a virus on it when she took it back to walmart today, i hope so anyway.
my group-living program went to the mall of america on wednesday. a lot of the clients that went had gone just to go eat at famous dave's restraunt. i went shopping and spent a lot of my money when i went shopping at aeropostle. rochelle (a pca who had said that she wanted to go shopping with me and had even asked me prior to the shopping trip about which stores i had wanted to shopping at) made a rude comment about me not needing any help in the store when someone had asked her if anyone was helping me in the store. she said it rudely from what maurice was telling me. another pca who was giving my cares on wednesday night looked at the aeropostle bag sitting on my bed and she remarked, "huh, we can see who has that kind of money to be shopping at THAT kind of store." some of my pca's need to grow up. i haven't went shopping for clothes in a while and i didn't even spend that much for all the things that i bought.
the vikings will also be kicking green bay's ass again this sunday, you know i had to say something about it. kind of funny to see those judas #4 shirts around in the stores. you know i'll be watching.. well, i'm hoping that i'll be getting regular internet access again soon, so till next time..

it feels like it was already said

i went to the courage center swimming program today as i do every monday and thursday right now. it feels like i know of a girl who i don't think i really know like a girl that used to live at the courage center when i lived there and for some reason i hear her talking about things like she wants them or she wants to be like them and she's not. i don't know if i really know her but i'm thinking of things that she said. the girl might've been one who i met at courage center back when i lived there, that'd be the only possibility that i could think of. i don't know what made me think of her..
i did go to that metallica concert that i don't know if i wrote about it on my weblog but i was thinking of it today. my friend misty went with me and i don't really remember anything about it, which i knew i wouldn't remember anything. i don't think that i've been to a concert before that one either.
robin asked me this morning if i had any problems with my walker because she said that bridget (my case manager) called her and told her that i was running into walls and making noise with my walker in the hallways of the apartment. i don't know if she really did leave that message but she probably did because robin also asked me that bridget asked if i was using my walker that i'm supposed to be walking with when i'm at home with a more portable walker which axis (insurance) bought for me.

i hate being so honest

i'm at my mom's house right now for the weekend. my grandma didn't come along to pick me up, i didn't expect her to. when i called my grandma last night she broke down crying when she told me that my uncle had throat cancer. i wasn't really thinking of her feelings after she told me because i said to her without thinking, "well, we all gotta die from something. that's what smoking does to you." she came back with, "well, when he started smoking- they didn't know that it killed you." she can't honestly tell me that he didn't suspect that it harmed you in some way back when he started smoking back then. my grandma told me not to say anything about my uncle having cancer but my mom told me today and the last time that i came to her house that she thinks that my uncle has cancer. it's not something that you can really hide from someone. i don't know what he's going to do about it, i think that he just might not go in for treatment because he seems like the stubborn type. i shouldn't have been so honest right away because i don't know if someone has throat cancer that they will definitely die and i don't know that he's definitely going to die of this cancer. this is the same uncle that upset me with his racist commments when it came to the presidential election, if my grandma loses him, she'd have lost two sons and a husband. i don't know what she'll do and i really don't want to find out.