ignorance.

we had to make presentations for our professional speech class today. we had to do the presentation on anything that we wanted and i did mine about the stereotypes of people in wheelchairs. i spoke about how when we went to stores, the clerks wouldn't address me when i was the one buying the merchandise, they would always speak to my grandma because she was the one that was with me and i think they felt uncomfortable talking to me.i spoke about how younger kids often would approach me and they weren't shy or ignorant, moreso than people that were older than young kids. i also spoke about the label that was given to me a couple of years ago when i was in my psychology class by this stupid ignorant girl, when she was speaking to her friend on the phonem she spoke about me as "that one girl in the wheelchair" using a weird tone of voice. i spoke about how i thought that was disrespectful and ignorant because it was obvious that i could hear her conversation with her friend on the phone and how it was disrespectful to label me as "that one girl in the wheelchair" because i'm a person, i'm not just "that one girl in the wheelchair" i have feelings too, she treated me like i was a thing without a personality. i'm just sick of this ignorance. i find ignorance everywhere i go and i think that everyone that i truly gave a shit about has been ignorant towards me lately.. oh well.

agh

i was in the bathroom, on the toilet (before any of you get sickened i will get to the point) and the place on my chest, just below my left rib cage started giving me pain- almost like a cramp. so, i asked my home health aid what side your heart is located on because i remember having this pain before and i thought that the nurse told me something about my heart being located on my left side and where i pointed my pain out, he told me to tell them if it ever happened again. well, well, well.. i was told not to call the nurse and they made me sign some form saying that if i ever did again, ASI reserved the right to kick me out of this program. well, my home health aid got paranoid and called both of the nurses, i told her not to because i wasn't going to the emergency room because i had a feeling that'd be the place where they'd say to send me. BOTH of the nurses asked about the home health aid calling from my phone, as if they thought maybe i called them because i'm assuming they both have caller ID's (so they were ready to kick me outta this program). after about 3 minutes of realizing that it was NOT me that called either of them, the head nurse asks why she called her and she tells her that i said i had pain in my chest and the nurse did as i thought she would do and told them to send me to the 'ER and my home health aid told her that i said that i wasn't going there. so the nurse just said that they couldn't make me do anything i didn't want to do. i started to notice the pain under my left rib as they were doing ARP on me and i told the therapist and she turned the voltage down. i have the pain under my left rib occasionally and i told my dumbass physical therapist about it and she didn't do anything about it. stupid old bag.

Plateaus.

I had ARP treatment today, I think that I'm finally starting to feel results. The bottoms of my feet feel tingly and the person who was performing the ARP therapy seemed more eager to get me more treatment more often. Since the douche bags that call themselves "physical therapists" claim that they can't help me with physical therapy because they claim<\I> that I've hit my plateau.. Well, heh.. I've got news for them: *gasp* MAYBE their careers as physical therapists have hit their plateaus' stupid old crows don't know what they're talking about. Playin like they're God and telling me that I won't walk again.

Damn two-faces

I found out who said that I called her a "fuckin bitch" and said that I hit her. Brittany told me that Desiree claims that I called her a "fuckin bitch" AND I hit her. It was just as I thought. I know a two-face when I see them, she acts nice to me in the morning and goes and reports me, so now I'm on the verge of being kicked outta this apartment just because I'm actually making her do work.. *gasp*.

laugh at my pain

kevin hart has to be one of my favorite comedians out there even though i think that all that i've seen of his specials was "laugh at my pain" but i still laugh like a maniac at the tv. that might be an overstatement but i'm pretty sure that the people in the apartment next to mine can hear me laughing because i'm laughing so hard. i laugh at the same jokes when he talks about them because he's not afraid to talk about anything, people like that rule. i know there are times that you shouldn't say some things but it's just funny when someone actually says it and he strikes me as that kinda person.

Don't tell me what I do.

My cell phone just rang and I didn't bother to answer it because it was probably my grandma, who I hung the phone up on last night because she actually had the nerve to tell me that I don't try to do things after I had showed that I didn't give a shit that my brother learned how to change his first tire. I got mad that I still can't do my own damn laundry yet but she goes and teaches him how to wash his clothes and change tires. Yeah.. I don't try to do things.. I've just been busting my fucking ass trying to walk again for the last almost 10 years.

Trouble in the elevator

Maurice and Eric came over to see me and we went to the mall to eat. Maurice got his wheelchair jammed with mine in the elevator. Someone managed to pry his wheelchair from being stuck up against mine inside the elevator. Whenever he comes to my place, we always seem to get ourselves in some kind of trouble, this was just another example of it.

this is beginning to be too much.

man. i don't know what to write this paper on. i'm supposed to analyze how the personal computer affected home and society. i don't know what to put in the paper, so it takes longer. i suppose instead of bitching doesn't help things anyway, i stayed up last night in an attempt to write the paper for the module that i'm missing, so i didn't get to bed til 1 am and then dumbass (me) had to wake up at 6 am this morning for pool therapy. i didn't get much sleep and i look like a crackhead in the face with my eyes all puffy and they have lines under them. i suppose i should go to bed, even though my homework IS NOT done because i can't find "credible" sources for the paper to get info from to write the paper because the professor is a dick who wants us to use the student portal's resources only. i think that i just need to drop this class, even though i really didn't want to.

yawn.

oh yeah, did i forget to write about my thoughts of randy moss returning to the field? i think he's gonna be a titan. a titan because they're the only team desperate enough to take his shit. as far as i'm concerned, he's a has been, his spotlight went dim and he's just looking for attention. he was hot his rookie year, no.. not looks "hot", i'm talking playing hot. i'm not gonna lie.. i was a big moss fan but when he goes and does exactly what i knew he would do, he became predictable and i don't really like predictable things when it comes to sports.

It's about damn time.

My grandma told me that MA approved to pay for my reverse walker. Once I get that walker, I'm going to try to use it as much as possible. My ass hurts so badly from having to sit in my damn wheelchair for almost ten fucking years. I shouldn't get my hopes up until the walker is sitting in my living room though. I hope that I don't get too tired too fast to use it on an everyday basis though.